An Excerpt from the book How I Changed Careers : Office Bully
I saw the dysfunction in how they would talk to each other. Ask inquiring questions with a caring face and then bash each other behind their backs. I wanted no part of it or them. We sat in close quarters and would not even exchange pleasantries.
I did try to change this and occasionally would bring in Italian pastries and fresh juice. I would send a department email inviting them to enjoy. They ignored my invitations. I gave up.
I was working with one coworker who was always on edge. We each had joint responsibility for an important international project. I drafted a checklist of all components to let her know what I had completed, so that we wouldn’t overlap and do the same portions twice.
She wanted to hear nothing that I had to say. As I tried to explain it to her she kept interrupting me in the rudest manner, saying that my voice bothered her and that she was not getting the answer she needed. (I didn’t have to help her with a check list. I was nearly done with my work and she was just starting}. I left, made a copy, set it on her desk and said, “Here’ I think this will help you.” She ordered me back, barking my name, “Terry!” I calmly said, “Yes.”
“Are you leaving?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m trying to tell..” she was trying to intimidate me. That doesn’t really work with me and I don’t have to yell to communicate that.
“I told you three times.” I said.
“Two!”
“THREE and you didn’t want to listen so I made you a copy and I’m leaving.”
She huffed in my face. Shoulders raised.
I huffed right back in hers. Shoulders raised.
“ GO FUCK YOURSELF!,” she yelled. Then she called me unprofessional.
“I heard what you said and how dare you call me unprofessional.”
I’m not the only one she cursed at.
I’m one of the few who stood up to her. She was a bully. And I fought back.
She never cursed at me again. At least not to my face.
10 minutes later she was in my office crying and apologizing.
© 2009 Travertine Spa, Inc. Issued under a Creative Commons Copyright
see more at HowIchangedCareers.com
Oh yea, the bullies are everywhere. I should, or maybe shouldn’t tell you about the english bull dog I worked with. He was one of the creatives at one of the advertising agencies I worked at. He’s the main reason I have no desire to go back! LOL!
If you can disquise it enough, please do. Ive otten a good response on this posting. I have a photo of my bully and its one of those unflattering photos, but i dare not publish it…hee hee
Good for you for standing up to a bully. My office bully terrorized everybody and wanted my job so badly that she stole money from the company and tried to make it look like I had done it. My boss called in a private investigator and she was fired. I wonder how many workplace bullies are men and how many are women.
You handled this bully well. That’s what you have to do, quietly stand up to a bully! They don’t like that quiet strength.
And there are both men & women bullies. They are everywhere.